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Top Ten Reasons Tanka Bar hasn't been on Letterman

By Mark K. Tilsen, story; Eric Pourier, photos; Jason Stover, typos

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10. Letterman second cousin twice removed from Custer; still carrying a grudge

9. WTF is a Tanka Bar?

8. Our people called their people and it ended up not working out

7. Dave thought it was a live buffalo; still traumatized from stampede incident

6. Letterman didn't accept Facebook friend request

5. Jimmy Kimmel kept eating all the samples

4. Paul Shaffer has uncontrollable fear of dried meat products

3. Dave saw Tanka Bar at a party and acted like he didn't know them

2. "Tanka Bar needs to be on Letterman" fan page fewer than 100,000 members

1. Tanka Bar boycotting CBS till return of "Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman"

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Previous Comments

Guest on Fri Aug 21, 2009 16:20:58
LMAO! reason #7 hahahahaha

Guest on Thu Aug 20, 2009 17:50:17
lol, too funny!